A Summary of Anne Kingston's The Meaning of Wife
Author Analyzes the Future of the Married Woman
Oct 13, 2009
Anne Kingston's book The Meaning of Wife breaks down the construct of the female spouse, from the fairytale of the wedding to the contemporary "unwife." Kingston takes a fresh look at what she says is truly the world's oldest profession.
Who the Wife Was
Kingston begins her book by explaining that of course the past affects the present. Thousands of years of expectations of what a wife should be versus Western civilization's enlightened modern-day view that women are equal and have rights have resulted in what Kingston calls "the wife gap."
Kingston says that wives were marginalized and subjugated in the past. Today, now that women are a large part of the work force, she says there is now a "wife deficit" in the home. Women may be working but often are still expected to be housewives. For centuries, wives were considered to be the property of their husbands; in this day and age, thanks in part to feminism, women are now their own masters. But, says Kingston, this new environment leaves a "wife gap" and no one to fill it.
The Role of the Wife Today
Kingston then talks about what she calls "the wedding industrial complex," a machine dedicated to making society literally buy in to the concept of the fairytale wedding. From high-priced designer dresses worn once in a lifetime to the recent concept of a diamond engagement ring, Kingston dismantles the concept one myth at a time. She compares the image of the bride to the role of the wife, finding that the idea of wife comes up short.
She delves into the '90s domestic goddess outlook as well; housekeeping was perceived as not only a priority but as fulfilling too. Kingston emphasizes the "Superwoman" view that a wife was and is expected to work and tend the home front. She also points out that, in spite of the emphasis on the importance of being a housewife, women (and men) who hold that role exclusively are not taken as seriously as their working counterparts.
The Many Facets of the Wife
Kingston also takes a look at "sex and the married woman," exploring the "romanticization" of "wifely sex," orgasm, and extramarital affairs. She then examines domestic violence, stating that the idyllic fairytale of forever contributes to why women stay, but she also points out that the image of the modern independent woman doesn't fit neatly into the role of the victim.
Next, Kingston examines women who get what they deserve in divorces (half) as well as women who secretly wish their husbands' death. Further, she explores the notion of what she calls "the unwife," women unwilling to shackle themselves in the bonds of matrimony. She even analyzes the worth of the female spouse.
The New Meaning of Wife
In spite of what many readers might construe as negativity, Kingston ends her book on a hopeful note. She says that, while it is taking a long time, our society is shifting to the new role of the wife. She maintains that there is not one simple definition but as many as there are women themselves.
Related articles:
Book Review of The Betrayal of Work
Book Review of The 26-Hour Day by Vince Panella
Source:
Kingston, Anne. The Meaning of Wife. ISBN 978-0374205102
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